The Hidden Burnout of Adults With ADHD or Autism: Why You’re So Exhausted (And It’s Not Your Fault)

Many adults come to us saying they feel overwhelmed, drained, or “tired down to the bone.” They describe feeling exhausted even after resting, struggling to keep up with daily life, or noticing that small tasks now feel too big. For adults with ADHD or autism, this type of deep exhaustion is often a form of burnout that is very common but rarely talked about.

This is not normal stress.
It is not lack of effort.
And it is not something you can simply push through.

Burnout in ADHD and autistic adults happens when someone spends months or years trying to meet expectations that do not match how their brain works. Over time, the emotional, mental, and sensory effort becomes too much, and the body starts to shut down.

What Burnout Looks and Feels Like

Adults experiencing this kind of burnout may notice:

  • feeling tired no matter how much sleep they get
  • becoming overwhelmed by small everyday tasks
  • trouble concentrating
  • feeling more emotional than usual
  • difficulty following routines
  • mental “fog” or slower thinking
  • wanting more alone time
  • feeling like they cannot keep up with life anymore

Many adults in Burlington and across Ontario tell us they feel guilty or confused about why they are struggling. They often think they should be able to handle more. The truth is that this kind of burnout is common for people with ADHD and autism.

Why Burnout Happens

People with ADHD or autism often spend years working extremely hard behind-the-scenes without others noticing. This might include:

  • masking or hiding their struggles
  • holding in emotions all day
  • trying to stay organized in ways that do not fit their brain
  • dealing with sensory overload at work, school, or home
  • trying to meet expectations that feel unreasonable
  • pushing themselves to match the pace of others

This takes enormous energy. When the brain and body do not get enough support or rest, burnout begins to build.

This is not a personal failure.
It is a natural response to long-term stress.

Why Regular Rest Doesn’t Solve It

This kind of burnout does not go away after a good sleep or a weekend off. Rest can help, but the root of the burnout is deeper. It comes from years of pushing through overwhelm, ignoring sensory needs, and trying to cope without enough support.

Many adults blame themselves for feeling this way, thinking they should “just try harder.” But burnout happens because your nervous system has been working far beyond its limits.

What Helps You Recover

Healing from burnout starts with understanding your needs and learning how to support your brain in kinder, more sustainable ways. Helpful steps include:

  • reducing pressure and letting go of perfection
  • building routines that feel gentle instead of overwhelming
  • learning how to regulate emotions and stress
  • finding ways to unmask safely
  • reconnecting with activities that bring calm and comfort
  • replacing self-blame with compassion

Therapy can help adults understand why they feel so overwhelmed and guide them toward practical steps that support real recovery.

How Caroline O’Brien Can Support You

At Sarah Terwilligar & Associates, Caroline O’Brien works with adults who are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or burnt out. She offers a warm and understanding space where clients can explore what they are going through without judgment. Caroline helps adults rebuild balance, reduce pressure, and create routines that work with their brain instead of against it.

👉 If you feel drained or stuck, you can book a consultation with Caroline through our Burlington office or meet with her virtually anywhere in Ontario.

Learn More About the Author

Sarah Terwilligar is a Registered Psychotherapist located in Ottawa, Ontario. Sarah currently practices online counselling and phone counselling. Sarah offers individual counselling sessions for youth and adults, as well as, family counselling for families with children, youth experiencing difficulties with eating, disordered eating, and eating disorders.

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